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Keigo – Japanese politeness in practice

Situations from working life and the honorific and humble forms – what to say and why that one.

First day at a new job: you walk up to your colleagues at their desks

です/ます plus the set phrase おねがいします — humble in itself (お〜する), but everyday and unremarkable. A team is not a client: the もうげます option reaches for a form that raises the person addressed, and would build a distance nobody asked for.

Examples

A close university friend you have known since first year asks about lunch

Plain speech, 普通ふつうからだ — and here that is the right answer, even though this whole section is about register. Keigo would be a step backwards: it would say “we are not that close”, which nobody meant.

Examples

A waiter sets the coffee down

いたす lowers the speaker towards the listener, while お〜 directs the action at the guest and raises them — the form does both at once, so it belongs to both groups at once (the character けん here means “and”: 謙譲語けんじょうごけんⅡ). That is what it is called in 敬語けいご指針ししん, the 2007 guidelines of Japan's Agency for Cultural Affairs, on which this app is based. In the category list such forms sit under Ⅰ. This is how service speaks to a guest, and it is heard daily in Japan.

Examples

Asking a lecturer about a deadline

です/ます plus すみません to open. For a student–lecturer relationship this is the right measure and nothing more is needed.

Examples

The opening line of an email to a client you already work with

The opening formula for an **ongoing** relationship; in correspondence like that it is written every time. It does two things at once: お世話せわになる raises the person whose care we are in — the reader — while おります adds modesty towards that same reader. If you are writing to someone for the first time, the formula does not fit: a first letter opens with 突然とつぜんのご連絡れんらく失礼しつれいいたします, “forgive me for writing out of the blue”.

Examples

Your first week in a new team: you ask a colleague you met three days ago for a document

In a company ます stays even with someone your own age, and おねがいします is a set, courteous request. An office is うち towards the world, but it is not a home. What separates it from the おねがもうげます option is もうげる, not おねがい itself.

Examples

Answering the company phone

でございます is the most formal 丁寧ていねい: it raises the tone of the utterance, not a person. The company name is not lowered here — the whole utterance is lifted towards the caller.

Examples

A club senior asks about practice

A 先輩せんぱい gets ます and that is all. The relationship is close but not equal, and that is exactly where です/ます lives.

Examples

Asking a passer-by for directions

です/ます with どちら instead of どこ. A stranger in the street is not a client: the politeness should be ordinary, not professional.

Examples

Asking your boss about a document, in-house

Inside the company your boss is a superior and takes the honorific. **The same boss will not take it in front of a client**, because there he stands on our side of the うち/そと line — your own people against outsiders — which we come back to at level 5.

Examples

A message to your sister

Siblings are the innermost うち there is. Any ます here would read as a quarrel or a joke.

Examples

In a shop, asking the assistant to show you a watch from the display case

すみません、せてもらえますか — ですます and もらえますか are entirely enough, and that is 丁寧語ていねいご. せていただけますか, with 謙譲語けんじょうご (the form that lowers your own action), is correct too and ordinary in a shop; what goes wrong is stacking humility, not the fact that it is the customer speaking.

Examples

A senior teammate you are not on first-name terms with invites you out after work

すみません at the front and んです at the end — the politeness here is 丁寧語ていねいご. The reason needs no spelling out: 都合つごうわるくて is enough, and that is how a refusal is made in Japanese.

Examples

いらっしゃる

to go, come or be — said of the other person

いらっしゃる is the honorific form of く・る・いる. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

おっしゃる

to say — said of the other person

おっしゃる is the honorific form of う. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

なさる

to do — said of the other person

なさる is the honorific form of する. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

らんになる

to look at — said of the other person

らんになる is the honorific form of る. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

がる

to eat or drink — said of the other person

がる is the honorific form of べる・む. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

くださる

to give to me, or to do something for me — said of the other person

くださる is the honorific form of くれる. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

ぞんじだ

to know — said of the other person

ぞんじだ is the honorific form of っている. It describes the other person's action and raises that person. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

やすみになる

to go to sleep — said of the other person

やすみになる is the honorific form of る. This is the お〜になる pattern applied to やすむ, so the ending is regular. The one thing to memorise is the verb: someone's sleep is spoken of with やすむ, not る.

Examples

うかが

to go to someone, or to ask them something — said of oneself

うかがう is the humble form of く・る・く. It describes one's own action and raises **the person it is directed at** — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. Its twin まいる (謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ) describes the same act but raises nobody. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

もうげる

to say to someone one respects

もうげる is the humble form of う. It describes one's own action and raises **the person it is directed at** — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. Its twin もうす (謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ) describes the same act but raises nobody. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

拝見はいけんする

to look at — said of oneself, humbly

拝見はいけんする is the humble form of る. It describes one's own action and raises **the person it is directed at** — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

いただく

to receive, eat or drink — said of oneself

いただく is the humble form of もらう・べる・む. This entry asks about the もらう sense, the one in the example sentence. It lowers your own receiving and by doing so raises the giver — which is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. In eating and drinking there is no giver and so nobody to raise: the same form then belongs to 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ, like まいる and もうす.

Examples

にかかる

to meet someone of higher standing

にかかる is the humble form of う. It describes one's own action and raises **the person it is directed at** — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

うけたまわ

to take an order from a customer, or accept a task entrusted to you

うけたまわる is the humble form of く・ける. It describes one's own action and raises **the person it is directed at** — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

まいる

to go or come — said modestly of oneself

まいる is the humble (丁重ていちょう) form of く・る. It describes one's own action modestly **towards the listener**, but raises nobody the act is directed at — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ・丁重ていちょう. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

もう

to say, or to be called — said modestly of oneself

もうす is the humble (丁重ていちょう) form of う. It describes one's own action modestly **towards the listener**, but raises nobody the act is directed at — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ・丁重ていちょう. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

いたす

to do — said modestly of oneself

いたす is the humble (丁重ていちょう) form of する. It describes one's own action modestly **towards the listener**, but raises nobody the act is directed at — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ・丁重ていちょう. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

おる

to be — said modestly of oneself

おる is the humble (丁重ていちょう) form of いる. It describes one's own action modestly **towards the listener**, but raises nobody the act is directed at — that is what makes it 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ・丁重ていちょう. The form follows from no rule — it has to be memorised.

Examples

ぞんじる

to know or think — said modestly

ぞんじる is the humble (丁重ていちょう) form of る・おもう. It describes one's own knowing modestly **towards the listener**, raising nobody — 謙譲語けんじょうごⅡ・丁重ていちょう. When what is known is a person one respects, the form changes: 先生せんせいぞんげております. ぞんげる raises that person and belongs to 謙譲語けんじょうごⅠ.

Examples

Where this comes from

Everything above comes from the free part of the Keigo app and has passed its content review.

App Store →Free app with an in-app purchase

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